Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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