Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
