Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do you remember whose house we're in?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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