ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
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I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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