You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
