im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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