Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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