I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize