I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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