I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
