I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
