Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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