I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
