there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
