i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
