Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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