I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
