You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
