dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize