So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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