I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
