I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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