I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
