TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize