turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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