My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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