Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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