He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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