We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
