I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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