Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
