After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dignity is for republicans.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
