I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
