Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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