K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize