I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
