when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
NoShamevember. You game?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
