i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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