i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
