We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
