Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize