All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He did a backflip because drugs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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