If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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