Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
