I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
