You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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