maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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