It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
