I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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