I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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