First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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