Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again