After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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