You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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