brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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