SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
