I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Non-Jews are for practice
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize