best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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