But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
