its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
